Noetic Sciences - Shamanistic Studies - Quantum Mechanics
Gothic Photography & Art
2-Dimensional Vapor Hound
"Sit boy! Good dog!"
Welcome to Ghost Laughs! As I have stated in my disclaimer before, this is a professional group, but we like to yuk it up with the rest of them. This is a collection of humorous links, pictures, terms, etc. which is geared more towards ghost hunters, but will hopefully have some mass appeal as well.
"This is indeed the powerful evidence ever for the aetheric body ever presented
Brian and Ann Allan (paranormal investigators) website www.p-e-g.co.uk"
Vorpral heartily agrees. (and thinks psychic Derek Acorah needs more fiber in his diet)
Cartoon by Marc Tyler Nobleman
Cute Luann comic regarding horoscopes
Ever have one or more of those overly sensitive psychics that love to freak out at almost every investigation? Well, we here at SPI just wait for them to finally snap and do the real thing.
Top 10 things you can do with your Possessed Psychic
10. Take them down to a karaoke bar and do covers of AC/DC songs
9. Use their glowing red eyes as a traffic safety device when your car breaks down
8. Put them on the phone when telemarketers call and bill them $3.99 per minute for Dial-A-Demon
7. Employ their powers of divination and geolocation to track down spammers and Fed Ex them to Hell
6. Rent them out to Divinity schools for use as Exorcism Training Dummies
5. Use them in educational safety videos such as "Kids & Haitian Voodoo - Do's and Don'ts"
4. Get them employed at Underwriter Laboratories to evaluate kitchen appliance "possess-ability"
3. Ouija board quality control at Parker Brothers
2. Enter them in Olympic Events like the 400 meter "Chase the Overconfident Wiccan Priestess Obstacle Course"
1. Post them in the break room for beverage availability so you don't waste a trip. "There is no coffee, only Zuul."
Here's a photo of a very serious ghost hunter's Corvette.
Think we'll see any orbs? This attraction is located in Butte, MT. Here is a link for more info:
"Need to take a shower?..."
Coeur d' Arlene, ID
I am friends with Kira from Mystic Ghost Investigations and she is a real doll with a great sense of humor and a very high literacy rate. These are some terms that she came up with that I feel should be part of the official hunter's lexicon.
*Almost* Psychic - The term for someone who thinks they are psychic, but you know they are not.
Ick Meter - A sophisticated intuitive device which measures how yucky the energy is in a certain area.
Icks per Minute - The official unit of measurement for the above device.
The Possessed People - *Almost* Psychics who are so oversensitive to their internal insecurities that they become "possessed" on nearly every hunt.
Psychic Jeopardy - A very annoying game in which all the psychics on a team try to outdo each other in terms of accuracy, sensitivity and ultimately drama.
Possession Charades - A slightly more entertaining pastime where you try to guess whose spirit is being channeled
Out Goth - A handy turn of phrase to describe when someone is trying to be darker than thou. Credited to Caroline C.
Techno Pagan - Rather self-explanatory, this is also credited to Caroline C.
Pagan Standard Time (PST) - Why certain Wiccan friends always seem to run late. Caroline C. again
Pseudo-Psychics - While the term has been in use for some time, Ralph defines them as those who brag about their magical powers in the hope that others will validate their psychological misconceptions.
Psychic - An investigator who hasn't learned how to use the equipment. Credit to Chris Moseley of Dagulf's Ghost
Gravestompers - Derogatory reference to an amateur group that goes into cemeteries just for the thrill of seeing a ghost without any serious methodology or research. Credit to Chris Moseley of Dagulf's Ghost.
Chocolamancy - A new branch of magic that I just now invented which makes extensive use of chocolate and other comfort foods. Somewhat related to Beer Gazing which consists of staring into your brew for cosmic answers.
Halloweeners - People who try to join a ghost group around Halloween season, but it applies to anyone who joins out of fad or out of a lack of realism.
more where that came from:
RECENTLY HEARD QUOTES
"Just because I've had bad luck with women doesn't mean I'm bad with women... bitch."
Josh aka "Brigade" (he didn't think I would post this)
"You are too young! Too young!"
Victor Manuel pointing at a 15 year old wearing a Pink Floyd T-shirt
(or a tour of what I think is funny)
Brewster Rockit (the Feb 20th - March 4th episodes deal with a haunted space station - hilarious!)
A place to build Red Meat Comics
Here is a ghost hunter themed part of a comic series known as Sluggy Freelance.
Here's another cool strip, but be warned... he is not into family values
Mega dittos on this one
For getting your D&D on...
Nodwick - http://nodwick.humor.gamespy.com/
Order of the Stick - http://www.giantitp.com/
Best of Craigslist - A Goldmine of Humor
Overheard in Chat Rooms
Keep moving... nothing to see here...
Forget you even saw this link...
MC Hawking - Theoretical Physicist Turned Rapper
(Check out Evil OverMom under September and Ninja Massage Therapist under August)
(Microsoft: The Verdict under June)
(Kitchen Floor under August)
Lost in Translation
Raging Hormones Menopausal Barbie
Check out the reviews for a Bic pen on this British Amazon site
They actually sell Nuclear Grade Duct Tape on Amazon - not kidding, and the comments are rather interesting:
(credit to my British Nanotech Instrumentation teacher for this one)
An Interesting Survey Site
Looking for a new drug?
Useful Related Program
Oldest Joke Book
(Greek with the Original Dead Parrot Sketch)
Gentle Spiritual Humor
Not Very Gentle Religious Humor
Balthor's Tales from Hell
Jedi Talent Agent
Star Wars toys that never made it to market...
Best of Douglas Adams
Star Trek Humor
Flying Spaghetti Monster (Pastafarianism)
Reverend Bob Church of the Subgenius
Rocky Horror Picture Show Scripts
My Good Friend Paul Riddell's Writings
For Girlie Men
For the more political minded
http://www.workingforchange.com/column_lst.cfm?AuthrId=43 Latest of "This Modern World"
Get Your War On
Unusual eBay Feedback
Don't get all politically correct with me - I have phobias too, and if you want to laugh at my fear of Norwegian Opera singers, then go ahead. :)
Making fun of religions
Here is a site you may not believe in. They are now defunct for reasons that you might guess, but I find the idea both hilarious and alarming.
Now even the archive version has been scrubbed. Damn. I knew they were full of shit, but it was still entertaining.
Want to know the day of your death? Here's handy Death Clock, which gives you a handy reminder including the number of seconds left you have to live. Gather ye rosebuds, while ye may...
Words to live by...
Here is an excerpt from one of the best letters I have gotten so far about the website. She makes some really good points.
"I really do think that your web page helps others get it all in perspective. In order to conduct investigations there has to be rules. There are going to be people that get mad and get their feelings hurt because they can't go. I think those people can just go bowling...
I think a lot of people do this just to hang out and get scared or be able to tell their friends they've seen a ghost. Those people are not taking into consideration the most important people - the people living with a possible haunting. I've lived in a house where you are scared to sleep with the lights off, and having a bunch of goobs walking around in your house with no objective and a possessed psychic would not have made me feel better."
On why white people are stupid to stay in a haunted place:
Black Male Householder : Aw baby this is beautiful, we got a chandelier hanging up here,
kids playing outside, it's a beautiful neighborhood. Ain't got nothing to worry about... I really like this place...
Demonic Voice: Get out!
Black Male Householder : Too bad we can't stay...
-Eddie Murphy from the Comedy Concert "Delirious"
The world is like a ride at an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly colored and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while.
Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question: Is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, 'Hey – don't worry, don't be afraid ever, because this is just a ride ...' And we ... kill those people.
Ha ha, 'Shut him up. We have a lot invested in this ride. Shut him up. Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account and my family. This just has to be real.' It's just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn't matter, because – it's just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It's only a choice.
No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride.
Take all that money we spend on weapons and defenses each year and instead, spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace. Thank you very much, you've been great." [several gunshots ring out, Bill mimes being hit and falls to floor, motionless.]
(Onstage closing comments of Hicks's Revelations special from 1993)
Modern Paranormalist - A Poem from a Friend
I am the very model of a modern paranormalist